There was a Time

i refuse to be afraid to breathe anymore.

i'll take your scent in and never breathe it out. but everyone is so gullible. they think i dream when i'm really just thinking of ways to make you real. they believe me when i say that God's sense of humor was always twisted and dark.
because they're people. they'll believe anything.

i prattle on and on with words that don't need to be said.
that hardly ever make sense.
but you read on. because you know somewhere between the lines i've hidden your name for the seraphs to see.

it won't take much to stop draining me.
the minute you stop, so will i. peace misses you too. give back my breaths and i promise to return what was always yours to keep.

we were wounded by the sun, and banished by day. but we never had the nerve to look away from each other. because it was a competition; a competition to see who would crack. who would say goodbye.
so day by day, you stole and sucked out of me. sucked each breath til i was battling with my own lungs.

[i refuse to be afraid to breathe anymore]

rumor has it, does it? no, love. reality told me to slip away to your thoughts because karma was too busy chasing after me. the balance that we ruined by simply meeting changed everything. even the auroras that once danced over me, shout curses and swear words that i'm sure God never wrote down for them to say.

what will it really take to remember?

there was a time when we sang to broken suns and shattered starlight that streamed through our windows. when we didn't say much but knew what to say.
when i used to hide and you'd find me when no one needed to.
there was a time when we weren't out to get each other.

there was a time when i wasn't afraid.
there was a time when i knew what i wanted. there was a time when people were not so gullible. but i locked them out because they knew too much.
you don't want to be with them, do you?

there was a time when i could write of your provocative lips and the eyes i never saw too much of. but now all i have is time to carve just the pen. my thoughts just wait. my feelings yearn to be written. to be found.
there was a time when the rain only poured on my yesterday, today was only a five-letter-word and tomorrow was an impossibility.

there was a time when my eyes glowed when i smiled, and when you smiled, the moon hung from its eclipse.
there was a time your scent didn't sting sickly sweet in my throat. when saying your name didn't make me bleed.

but those days, i was happy. and though you're afraid to admit it, so were you.
those days, i was fine. and you were too.
those days, i didn't remember to move. and you lived the dead morose.
those days, there was just you and me. and air actually found its way to my bloodstream. i'm too tired to find those days again. they hid themselves in places you never look in anymore.

and my hiding places are all but sought, love. so til then;

i refuse to be afraid to breathe anymore.